Personal Statement Essay
In the unwelcoming atmosphere, I was tied by tubes and tubes, makes covered my mouth by nebulizer and I was at the gate of death. My breathe was just too hot with wearing nebulizer but wondered where I am and why I tied. I was four years old when my asthma attacks came, and ever since, I was hospitalized. I felt pain every time in my chest when I tried to breath, and I could not think well. I did not feel alone. I was not scared. Because the memory of my parent's welcoming face flashed across my mind when I close my eyes. Yet, the visit of doctors and nurses telling me to breath easy and keep calm. It was really helped and it was like the light in darkness.
I was in a critical condition but I survived. Doctors became not only my hope but my inspiration. I followed him all the time and behave me help care for other sick children. I realized that caring for people and sick children makes me satisfied from the bottom of my heart. And I can devote myself to it. After leaving the hospital, I help my little siblings with joy. Also I took part volunteering at my catholic elementary school. Teaching swimming for children at the ocean was my favorite. Hospitalized experience chart my source to be a doctor to help children, but a specific image of a doctor was given by my two brothers’ death.
My second brother was killed by accident and the third brother had a “congenital abnormality in the gallbladder” but there is no way to cure. Until my brother’s death. I thought “I had most valuable experience which is face to death myself”. But “little brother’s death” was much worse. No…It was not worst. “No way to cure” and brother’s death fell me into the abyss. That happened when I was fourth grade. Since then I was always occupied by helpless indignation. I could not share my feeling with anybody. Not my parents who live with the pain of loss. But also not my friend too whose interest are teenagers idol, shopping soon. I could not show my honest feeling with my parents and friends. I was always with anger and sorrow. I stopped participating volunteering. It was too hard for me to see and hear the children’s smile with laughs. I was always tired and did not want anybody. I did not want to do anything. School friends were all busy for junior high school entrance exam but I did not feel the importance of the exam. At that time, my important thing was staying with my mom and help her. Thus, at school, I just read books all the time and did not talk to friends and few words with teachers. I could not solve the way of my lethargy and could not imagine getting out of this lethargy. I felt I will live my life with anger and lethargy forever.
I longed for a doctor and I was disillusioned for Japanese doctor by my brother’s death. Yet, by setting my new path to “get into a foreign countries university and gain broad perspective”, I left Japanese high school and transfer to international school which I can learn English and can get the broad perspective. I was liked a triple handicap person in a classroom: I couldn’t read, listen and talk. First, I panicked and I want an escape from school, but I know that I need to overcome this difficulty. And compared to “sadness and indignation” that I felt before, it was not hard for me. Plus, I met many people who helped me and they gave me many opportunities to have a wide perspective.
The childhood experience that face to death and my brother’s death become my feeling of collapse and fatigue for life, I could not feel like doing anything, it seemed that this feeling will continue for my rest my life. Yet, now I could escape from a sense of deep despair and it became my fulfillment. The confidence it gave me, helps me to overcome any difficulties. Surviving in an international school for four years, I was could accept by a medical school in china. With my experiences, I now focus to become a doctor who can help people for their future.