Yuri's Digital Portfolio

I was tying bytubes and tubes, makes covered my mouth, was just too hot to wear not feeling lonely, but wondered where I am and why I was tired. I was four years old and had asthma attacks and I have been hospitalized. I couldn’t breathe well and I felt pain in my chest. I could not think well. I did not feel alone with the pictures flowing on my eyelid and the visit of doctors and nurses giving me breath easy and bright lights.

 

My condition was in a critical condition but I survived, fortunately. Doctors became not only my hope but inspiration. I followed him all the time and behave me help care for other sick children. I realized that caring for people and sick children makes me satisfied from the bottom of my heart and can devote myself to it. After leaving the hospital I willingly help my little siblings with joy and participate volunteering at my catholic elementary school. Teaching swimming for children at the ocean was my favorite. Hospitalized experience chart my source to be a doctor to help children, but a specific image of a doctor was given by my two brothers’ death.
 

The second brother was killed by accident and the third brother had a “congenital abnormality in the gallbladder” but there is no way to cure. Until my brother’s death. I thought “I had most valuable experience which is face to death myself” but “little brother’s death” was much worse. No…It was not worst. “No way to cure” and brother’s death fell me into the abyss. That happened when I was fourth grade. Since then I was always occupied by helpless indignation. I could not share my feeling with anybody. Not my parents who live with the pain of loss but also not my friend too whose interest are teenagers idol, shopping soon. I could not show my honest feeling with my parents and friends. I was always with anger and sorrow.  I stop participating volunteering. It was too hard for me to see and hear the children’s smile with laughs. I was always tired and did not want to spell anybody. I did not want to do anything. School friends were all busy for junior high school entrance exam but I did not feel the importance of the exam. At that time, my important thing was staying with my mom and help her. Thus, at school, I just reading books all the time and did not talk friends and few words with teachers. I could not solve the way of my lethargy and could not imagine getting out of this lethargy. I felt I will live my life with anger and lethargy forever.

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I longed for a doctor and I was disillusioned for Japan by my brother’s death. However, by setting my new path to “get into a foreign countries university and gain broad perspective”, I leaved Japanese high school and transfer to international school which I can learn english and can get broad perspective. I was like a triple handicap person in a crass room: I couldn’t read, listen and talk.  First I was panicked and I want escape from school, but I know that I need to overcome this difficulties and compared to “sadness and indignation” that i felt before, it was not hard for me. Plus, I met many people who helped me and they gave me many opportunity to have a wide perspective.
 

The childhood experience that face to death and my brother’s death become feeling of collapse and fatigue for life, I could not feel like doing anything, it seemed that this feeling will continue for my rest my life. However, now I could escape from  a sense of deep despair and it became my fulfillment. The confidence gave me that I can overcome any difficulties. Surviving in international school for four years, I could successfully accepted by medical school in china.  With my experiences, now I can focus to become a doctor who can help people for their future.